UNRAVELING CHAOTIC EMOTIONAL CONSTRUCTS AND RELEASING THE SCARCITY PARADIGM / ARTICLE AND AUDIO
I remember being riddled with angst, guilt and anxiety … a cocktail of feelings and emotions which my body didn’t feel it could contain.
I was lying awake in the middle of the night, scarfing down Nutella until there was no more in the jar and my body felt like it was covered in a film of panic which I couldn't remove.
I felt like I was a prisoner of it.
I said, why me? Why is this coming to me now?
I had reached a point of complete financial collapse.
My business which had once been successfully profitable, with an enviable ROI, was now over £300,000 in debt, unable to pay the salaries of the employees, and I was the only one in charge; the only one to blame.
All of this came to a head while I was in a tantra retreat in Berlin back in 2012 (un-coincidently, the year of the global shift in consciousness).
The objective of this retreat was to create a safe space for men to gather together, on a regular basis, in deep exploration of topics around spirituality and sexuality for personal growth.
So why me and why now?
Part of me which was functioning in a more egoic realm was hoping to have a relaxing time, to simply enjoy the retreat. But it became clear there was a much higher purpose.
The fact that my financial issues hit their absolute peak just as we were in the fifth, final and most intense module was no coincidence.
We had been invited by the facilitators to bring forth our deepest and darkest emotions, those lying in our most obscure shadows, and I realised that these existed in a parallel way in two different areas of my life:
Sex, and money.
In this module we explored various practises in which I entered states of trance, primordial and cosmic experiencing, states where I saw past lives, as well as gaining insight on meaningful situations from this incarnation. This journey allowed me to shed some much needed clarity on issues which, I realised, expanded much beyond this staggering debt.
This event transformed my life and I never stopped believing that there is a powerful link between the worlds of sex and money. That both areas can serve as catalysts for meaningful, efficient and juicy explorations for personal growth.
That an exploration of our self at this level is the deepest way for us to get to know our self and there is nothing more interesting, more valuable, nor a bigger gift one could give themselves.
I firmly believe that work around sex is the highest work because you need to be willing to go somewhere that most people are not willing to go to. A place that we, as a society, intentionally shut down and say "no we don't go there". When you go there, you get access to such a fertile ground for your growth.
In the 2 years following this initial realisation my life became a wild rollercoaster of gains and losses that lead to a situation of near bankruptcy. At this darkest hour I made the decision to sit and be still and explore in ways I had learned in Berlin.
And my revelation happened when I surrendered and realised that that man lying naked in the dark, an empty jar of Nutella clutched in his cold prying hands whilst wrapped in a binding "film of panic" had the power to be the freest man in the world.
As i developed. the rollercoaster began to turn into a gentle and delicate carnaval carrousel and I found a place of increased mastery and equanimity in this field.
Whilst I began to draw in an effortless flow of money the most valuable gift was the sense of freedom, of equanimity I had reached. The exploration will definitely continue forever, it is never done and there are always bumps on the way.
But I had reached a place of sufficient ease and peace that I began to draw clients towards me who were looking to unravel these chaotic emotional constructs.
Clients who wanted to release the scarcity and fear paradigms they were living in and step into a more effortless and authentic relationship to their divine birthright of prosperity.
I began to teach workshops on this topic, and this is when I approached Reverend Goddess Charmaine, a fellow shaman who's speciality is tantra and embodied sexuality.
The words appeared to me out of stillness and I said to her, “ I want to do this with you: Energy, Sex & money”.
Our vision came to life on 14 July 2018 with our first Online workshop and a first group of 9 brave participants. Its success inspired us to turn it into a series of regular monthly events, all online, accessible from anywhere.
The next event happens next week, 8th Saturday at 11 am NYC / 8am LA / 5pm London / 6pm Paris.
I am really excited to be able to bring this to the world, and to continue to grow and have fun while doing it. But mostly to come together with people who make it part of their mission to help unravel these difficult emotional constructs for themselves but also for the collective.
Hope you will join us.
You can view web page for the event by clicking the button below, watch the trailer for the event below or listen to the audio recording in the article above.