Part 1 of 3:
ORIENTATION AND RELATIONSHIPS IN A SACRED SPACE
In Elizabeth Gilbert’s famous cult hit “Eat, pray, love” the protagonist goes on a journey of self-discovery around the world on which she finds herself, great food and (of course) a man. At the beginning of the book, she speaks of her experience as a counsellor to refugees, stating that, regardless of the trauma of people’s situations, the number one thing which is always on their minds is Love.
While they may have experienced most difficult situations, fleeing war-torn countries, losing everything, treacherous escapes on dangerous boats, relationships seemed to weigh heaviest on their heart. They would, most of all, speak of the boyfriend they were separated from, the fiancé who didn’t make it, the girlfriend who ran off with the brother…
Indeed, a broken heart can often hurt more than a broken rib.
The topic of relationships comes up with every client I have worked with, despite many of them being less comfortable admitting it at first. They may come to talk about something related to finances, work or their parents, but the topic always steers back to relationships somehow.
For a long time, I believed that people were so hung up to relationships simply because of a need for validation, of insecurity or the strength of our social conditioning. But with time, I realised there was a part of me that was, perhaps like the clients I mentioned above, afraid of the vulnerability of saying I wanted to be a in a relationship, afraid that this vulnerability would morph into neediness and amplify loneliness. There is indeed such a stigma against the idea of needing a relationship that we often rob ourselves of the simple honesty of saying we would like to be in one. An honesty that is not only nourishing for our hearts, but the main foundation of any of this personal growth work.
There are many ways that we can shape/support/enable the relationship of our dreams using our home as a tool.
The first, and most important, is simply by using this work to develop our own vibrational energetic frequency, and finding our own alignment. When we do, everything that is meant for us will come to us, that includes love.
In addition to this, I invite you to look into 3 more specific ways.
The article on the bagua map shows that Feng Shui has defined the South-west area of our home is the relationship area.
Making sure to focus properly on this area is a great way to bring attention and awareness to the relationship part of our lives, we will explore that in article 36.
There are also principles by which we can create an altar specifically for relationships, acting as a sort of light portal or gateway from ourselves (and our home) to source, to really sharpen our awareness on relationships. That will be article 35.
This article, 34, explores the magic of looking into our relationships using our entire home.
According to Vastu Shastra, the ancient Hindu practise which preceded feng shui 7 thousand years ago, the universal laws using the earth’s elements and planet alignments mean that each of the 8 surrounding parts of our home, based on cardinal orientation, can represent a different aspect of our relationship life.
While you may possibly find that each aspect of this landscape seems to hold some wisdom you could benefit from, there is bound to be one main focus which calls at you most strongly which you may want to address first, before moving on to the next.
So in this article we will scan our entire home to see what issues may be lurking in its corner, and which are most important to address for us personally.
So, lets get started shall we?
I recommend always scanning the home clockwise from the north-east as this is where temple builders began when creating their sacred stone alignments. To begin, use your compass to define the north-east in your home (if you haven’t already) and go to that area.
The strongest energy of ancient wisdom and spiritual growth comes from the North-East, making this the most spiritual area of your home. This is why most temples were usually created to face this direction.
Scientifically, this is explained by the fact that north-east combines the two strongest energetic forces:
The sun which rises in the east and the earths magnetic energy lines which originate in the northern magnetic pole.
This area should be considered a gift from the universe, the area that invites us to connect to ourselves and to the divine, therefore meditating facing the north east is most potent for spiritual growth.
In relationships, this area is a good focal point for those who have no trouble meeting people but generally find they lack depth and spiritual connection once they get to know them.
Having clutter in this area, or any damage or abstraction of some kind could lead to you feeling off-center and off-alignment.
Let’s take it one step further here:
If you are finding that most people you meet are not as connected to spirit as you would like, begin by contemplating and cultivating your own connection to spirit first and see what happens. This may be the real issue which is being shown to you, reflected in people around you.
So if this is the case for you, have a look if anything is out of place here, if there is any clutter or other, and then bless the area by placing an object or decorating it with an appropriate object.
A pyramid shaped clear quartz crystal is great here to transmute energy, a strong spiritual element such as a Buddha, a cross or any of the other symbols we had suggested in previous articles are great too.
Anything that can help you develop the spiritual aspect of your life is great here!
As the area where the sun rises, it is all about absolute nurture, care and connection to the universal life-giving force.
As we have seen before, the sun is a source of vitamin D which turns into Calcium in our bodies and is essential to our wellbeing.
Have a look at this area if you tend to get into destructive or unhealthy relationships which are often out of balance, look into this area to find the ultimate in self love. First bring your awareness to the space, noticing if anything is out of place or needs your attention.
Wind chimes are perfect here, or an incense burner, and it is also a great idea to meditate in this area, if you identify with this aspect, and notice what comes up. In the case of my own home, I was fascinated to find that, as this was the point I related to the least, it is also a physical area which is missing from my home.
As the south of your home faces the equator, the south east, tilting towards the sunrise, is where the most passion lives in your home (according to the wisdom of Vastu).
As well, this direction is also related to the alignment to venus.
The relationship aspect of this area relates to maintaining attraction, rekindling fire and enabling passion.
If, for instance, you have been in a relationship for a while and fear it may be losing its fire, or if you are single but you feel like you are less attractive to dates and passionate encounters than before, this is a good area to look at.
Have a look at this area to see if anything is out of place, damaged or if there is any clutter. Or perhaps you just have been neglecting it somehow! Perhaps a reading area you never sit in?
You can use a red candle, a red or pink decorative element, or an artwork indicating fire and heat to balance the energies of this area.
The south direction is dominated by the element of fire, but also by its alignment to Mars.
The relationship aspect of this area refers to discernment and discrimination, as well as the ability to draw our boundaries.
As well as evaluation, perception, the ability to recognise if a person or an opportunity is right for us or not, as well as the ability to recognise opportunities and make good choices.
This is the area to look into if you are in a relationship in which you are constantly wondering if the person is right for you or not.
If you are single, you may find yourself meeting people easily, but then find yourself doubting and wondering if that person is right for you or not.
Again, a strong fire presence here, a great place for a candle or a red element.
This is also the time when the veil between the two worlds are the thinnest. It invokes the dive within, the return to the womb, the process of self-contemplation as one goes deep into the mystery of life.
In relationships, this area is ruled by instability, insecurity and self-consciousness.
Look towards this orientation if you feel like you are perhaps not “ready” to have a relationship, or perhaps you have the feelingthere is something fundamentally wrong with you.
I hear so many people say they just aren’t in the right space for a relationship, they should be addressing "this or that issue" first.
According to this logic, people in relationships would be more enlightened than those who are single or that when your relationship has ended, you have fallen out of the light. Right?
As far as I understand it, there is always more growth for all of us, and always more to learn and uncover about ourselves.
Thus, the universe will send you exactly what you need for you to learn what you need to learn right now, including relationships.
So use this area to ask yourself, what is it that I have to learn that a relationship can teach me? A clear quartz pyramid crystal is great here as well.
The orientation of the setting sun, representing the descent into the underworld / the world of spirit, introspection and "traveling within". It is known as the one which receives the messages from the world of God, therefore the element is water, associated with communication.
In relationships, this area refers to our self confidence and our ability to be ourselves to express ourselves, being true to yourself And letting others see who you really are.
If you are in a relationship and you feel like you can't really voice yourself, your needs or show who you truly are, this is the area you need to look into. If you are single and you feel like "no one gets you" or that you aren't able to remain yourself when meeting new people, this is an area to explore.
Focusing on this area can unlock capability for expression, of yourself or your needs, and yield a new appreciation for your uniqueness
Most of all, the focus here a is on attracting others by being ourselves rather than "despite" being oursekces. A and also a great way to work on attracting people who are genuine and comfortable with being themselves.
The element of the west is water , this is a great place to have a water feature , images or are if water, or simply a bowl or case full of clean clear water.
Stability and clarity
Whilst all the northern orientations are about stability and grounding, north-west ties in notion of "diving inwards" and identity which we spoke about above (west).
If you are feeling off center and unstable in relationships, lacking clarity in your thoughts and actions, this is the area to focus on.
You might say, for instance, that you want a ration ship but you don't know what type you want.
Have a look to see if anything is lurking in the North West area of your home, clutter, or anything needing to be repaired.
What is missing or what could you do to find clarity?
Make sure the area is not cluttered, place a crystal here for a period of time to balance the energy.
As a northern entrance faces the cold and hardness of the north pole, the bitter winds make our senses more aware of the physicality of the planet, therefore north is associated with the element of earth, and with grounding
Thus, in relationships, the north area will be associated to intimacy and depth, to the ability to reaching deeper layers.
As the north is also the area for materialisation and manifestation, this orientation refers to richness and Intensity.
So if you are in a relationship and you feel like you aren't communicating enough about deep topics, perhaps things remain safely superficial, this is the area for you .
If you are single, it may manifest as you going on first dates but never going much further.
Look for clutter, damage or anything out of place in this area.
Using a crystal here is perfect as it represents the element of earth, the northern element.
Begin by sitting in meditation with any of the techniques we have seen so far. Connect to a crystal, the sound of an instrument and sit comfortably bringing your awareness to your breath.
When you sit and reflect on your current relationship situation, what comes up for you? What's missing? What is your biggest challenge, obstacle?
Staying connected to your findings, take the tour of your home as suggested above and evaluate where it feels right for you to act.
As usual when setting an intention, remember to not ask for any specific outcome. For instance: " I want a boyfriend" but rather ask for what is right to come through, what is aligned to divine order, what is waiting to be shown to you.
Ask for clarity and light to shine on areas where you may be confused or off-centre, as well of thinking about what you would get from an improved relationship situation, think of what the other would benefit from as well, and even how others around you may benefit as well.
Perhaps connecting to the idea that both of you would be better versions of yourselves, bringing more good to the world together, than you would apart. 1+1=3.
And most of all ENJOY! You are doing the most important work of all: That of getting to know the deepest, darkest part of your being, exploring your inner wisdom.
CASE STUDY : ME
In my case, i first experimented with the north-west area as I wasn't sure if I wanted a relationship at all, and, if so, what type it would be. Looking into this area began to unravel some patterns which needed to be brought to light.
Through this work, I felt inspired to take a 40-day fast from dating with the goal of finding a new clarity. I realised I now do want a relationship and have a better idea of the type I want.
Therefore I have now moved on to looking into the north-east, spiritual connection as this is what resonates most at the moment.
Below are two videos I filmed as facebook livestreams depicting this.